Not everyone is seeking a permanent or serious relationship, there are many people whose dating style is more casual and short-term based.It is your responsibility and your choice whether to tell or not in this type of scenario. In casual situations telling is probably going to seriously affect your success rate! And if alcohol or drugs are involved, you have to ask yourself if the resultant decision could actually be termed an'informed decision' anyway.
The most important thing you can do is reduce the risk of transmitting the virus as much as you can. Ensure that you always practice safer sex, remembering that it can never be 100% 'safe'. Suppressive therapy with an antiviral medication has been proven to reduce asymptomatic shedding of the virus, and reduce transmission in the case of valaciclovir. Abstain from sexual contact when you have symptoms of herpes as you will be shedding virus, probably from several sites.Even if you do all of these, there is no guarantee that you will not pass the virus on.You may also need to consider the potential legal repercussions of choosing not to tell your sexual partners that you have the herpes virus.
Sex, love and happiness is your right
As human beings we are all entitled to experience love,sex and intimacy.Having herpes does not mean that you are no longer entitled to those things. It does not mean that you are worth ‘less’ than those who do not have it. It does not mean that you must embrace a life of solitude and celibacy.
Real relationships flourish and fail based on far more
important issues than a mere virus. No one should allow
herpes to define who they are, who they may love or
who may love them.
Having ‘The Talk’
Telling someone you have herpes is commonly referred to as having ‘the talk’, but the reality is we should all behaving ‘the Safer Sex talk’ because it’s not just about herpes. Deciding when to have ‘the talk’ can be difficult.
Obviously if you are into one-night stands, there’s not abig time frame to get that discussion in. In this situation though, practicing Safer Sex is recommended - there are a lot of other things you can catch besides herpes.When you are dating and getting to know someone,ideally you would discuss Safer Sex at some point before you become intimate. There are no hard and fast ‘rules’. Some people have personal rules, like ‘ no sex before the fourth date’, and others simply go with
the ow, becoming intimate when it feels ‘right’. The important thing is that you do discuss it at some point.If you don’t talk about Safer Sex or your opinions on it, and you nd yourself naked and ready to go, but the other person isn’t whipping out a condom or waiting for you to do so, and they appear to expect things to just simply go ahead. . . it’s time to put on the brakes.Unromantic? Yes.Spoiling the mood? Maybe.But what’s worse – Safer Sex in a moment, or even on another occasion. . . or risking who knows what right now?It’s your choice. Never forget that. It is your choice. If they are not prepared to practice Safer Sex then you can exercise your right to choose not to have sex.