My new girlfriend told me that she has genital herpes. We haven't had sex yet and I don't know if I want to. Is it safe to have sex with someone if they have herpes? Can I still be okay if we don't have sex when she's having a breakout or whatever?


As we know, herpes is a sexually transmitted disease caused by a virus. Herpes is quite common, with about one in six people being affected in the United States. Transmission of the virus from males to females is more likely than transmission from females to males. Unfortunately, however, there is no cure for herpes so you have good reason to be concerned about contracting it from your new girlfriend. The only way to completely guarantee that you do not contract herpes from your girlfriend is to abstain from sex. Although the infection is much more easily spread if you have sex with your girlfriend during an outbreak, it is still possible to spread the virus between outbreaks when the skin is intact. Wearing a condom can reduce your chances of contracting herpes but it is still possible as the virus is spread by skin contact in areas that are not covered by a condom. It is important to talk to your primary care doctor about the risks of contracting genital herpes and to be tested for other STDs if you are sexually active. Make sure that your girlfriend has also been tested for other STDs as some have little or no symptoms.

More information:

Having sex with herpes is not completely safe, what we can do for people with herpes is controlling it. So having sex using any safety ways is necessary.


Dating with herpes will be very common thing in coming days since herpes spreads more quickly and more and more people are suffering from herpes, HSV, HPV, even HIV/AIDS. But for your own safety, you should take care of yourself before a herpes dating. Here we list 3 safety tips for dating with herpes, hope it is useful to you.

First of all, you should know what type of herpes your partner has.

Herpes has many types, and different types of herpes have different symptoms. Before the further dating, you should know the herpes type of each other and make preventive measures to  the future spread of disease and treatment.

Then, make sure the Mutual understanding of each other's condition and encourage each other to treat herpes actively.

Many people are more and more sicker because of a lack of understanding of his condition and no one cares about him/her, they lose confidence and throw the handle after the blade. So taking care of your partner is taking care of yourself.

The last, use condom if you have sexual connection.

No cure for herpes, so we should try to avoid sexually transmitted infections and avoid getting new type of herpes. As we know, sex is the main route of herpes transmission, and using condom in sex will reduce 97% transmission threat。 So please using condom when you have sex with herpes.


HIV can spread to a partner by oral sex. HIV can spread by vaginal fluid, semen or blood. This information is according to the Center of Disease Control and studies have been done on this topic. Semen and vaginal fluids could enter a partner's body by oral sex. Having safe oral sex greatly reduces the chance of catching or passing HIV to a partner.

Herpes can spread to a partner by oral sex. HSV-2 is genital herpes 90-95% of the time and oral herpes 5-10% of the time. The chances of genital HSV-2 spreading to a partner orally by oral sex is low. Genital HSV-1 isn't common. HSV-1 is genital herpes about 5-10% of the time and oral herpes 90-95%. The chance of a partner catching oral HSV-1 from performing oral sex on a partner with genital HSV-1 (which is common genitally) is high.

So safe sex with herpes is necessary.

Question about sex with herpes

From viewing your profile I see your currently living with genital HSV-2. Keep in mind there are two strains of herpes HSV-1 and HSV-2. HSV-1 is genital herpes about 5-10% of the time and oral herpes 90-95% of the time. On an average 5-10 genital herpes cases out of 100 are caused by genital HSV-1.

If your partner has genital HSV-2 (the more common type of genital herpes) one partner herpes outbreaks won't greatly affect the other partner. It is not possible for a person who has genital HSV-2 to catch genital HSV-2. Sometimes friction from sex causes a herpes outbreak.

If one partner has genital HSV-1 (less common type of genital herpes) and one partner has genital HSV-2 both strains of herpes could spread. In that situation a partner may come in contact with a strain of herpes he/she doesn't have. A person with genital HSV-2 is more likely to spread genital HSV-2 to a partner than to catch genital HSV-1. The human body helps fight herpes off. Getting a herpes outbreak depends on a person's immune system and lifestyle.

Many people think that we can not have sex if we have herpes or other STD, and many people with herpes feel upset and have no interesting on sex. In fact, even if you have been tested positive for herpes or if your partner has herpes, you can still continue to have a full sex life. However, you need to take some precautions, lest you give the infection to the partner. In case, both the partners have the same type of herpes, that is genital herpes, the issue is much less complicated, as you cannot get infected twice.

There are the 4 steps for safety sex with herpes, hope it is helpful for you.

  • Avoid Sex Before/During/After an Outbreak

It is suggested that the infected person does not have sex before an outbreak, during the outbreak and after a few days as well. That is, it is not safe to have sex in the cycle of the outbreak. It is considered safe to have sex between outbreaks, but the uninfected partner has to understand that he or she can get infected even if there are no sores present or no symptoms of herpes.

  • Use a Latex Condom During Sex

The best protection would be to use a latex condom during sex. However, condoms do not provide 100% guarantee against infection, yet research has proved that it provides ample protection. In case of oral sex, you can use a dental dam for maximum protection. Oral sex is safe if you don’t have cold sores on the mouth during the outbreak. Make sure that you have no broken skin on the hands and never touch a herpes sore and then touch your partner. In addition, you must also make sure that bodily fluids are not exchanged at any time.

  • Antiviral Therapies

There are many antiviral therapies to bring down the virus that you shed, enabling better protection during sex. Suppressive therapies can also be used in the form of daily pills for reducing the intensity and frequency of outbreaks. This can protect your partner from being infected. Some may not need to take daily therapy and anti viral pills can be taken whenever there is a flare up or an outbreak. You can consult your doctor regarding this. In some cases, there is a lot of friction during sex and this could irritate the skin and trigger an outbreak. To avoid this, you can use sexual lubricants that are water based. However, oil based ones can result in breaking down the latex and could cause issues.

  • Educate You and Your Partner about Herpes

Finally, it is important for both the sexual partners to educate themselves about herpes. It is not as serious as it seems and surely not the end of sexual life. There are many couples living with herpes and enjoying fulfilling sexual relationships, even if one of the partners is not infected. There are millions of people all over the world living with the condition and not even being aware of it. In many cases, the infection does not present with any symptoms in the person and there may not be any sores visible.

Herpes is not so serious thing, for people with herpes, we can have the happy life as usual people. What we should do is : Do not lose confidence in life.

Some people asked me: “Which way is the most safety sex in a herpes dating relationship?” It looks funny but it is a reality problem. In my idea, herpes dating has no 100% safety ways for sex, unless your herpes dating likes platonic sexuality – NO TOUCH, NO RISK.

But I have 3 safety sex tips that can avoid herpes transmissions as far as possible. You can test during your sex.

  1. Wear 2 condoms in your sex

Wear condom can avoid 90% virus transmission in sex, wear 2 condoms improve the safety rate to 95%, also, don’t have oral sex.

  1. Don’t use your fingers (touched your genital) to touch your partner’s genital

Touch is the most usual way for herpes transmission, so don’t touch your partner’s genital by fingers with virus. Any no-clean touch will transfer your partner.

  1. Keep your skin no wound

According to health experts’ statistic, the wound in private parts is the most dangerous area for herpes transmission, so keeping your skin no wound is also a safety thing.

If you follow all these preventative measures, the chances of getting the herpes virus is like less than 2.7%..

Enjoy your sex life together. But, there's still that chance of getting the virus in your herpes dating relationship.


If I use a condom with my uninfected partner for intercourse can I still have oral sex with him and not contract hsv-1?

Is he at risk if he performs oral when I don't have a ob? I want to still be able to please him orally.


Herpes is a virus that affects the skin. Even if an active outbreak isn't present herpes could still surface the skin. A partner could catch herpes if his/her skin comes in direct genital, anal or oral contact with the virus. A condom may not cover 100% of the genital region.

If herpes surfaced the skin herpes could spread even if you don't have an outbreak. You may not always know when herpes surfaced the skin. There may not be any active symptoms of the virus. If you don't have any outbreaks and if a condom is used the chance of your partner catching the virus by performing oral sex on you would be very low.

Herpes dating sites

Dating with herpes



The amount of time an individual should wait to have sex depends on the symptoms of herpes an individual is experiencing. An individual may get an initial outbreak and the herpes sores may clear. However, some of the symptoms of herpes could be present. For example, a burning, itching, tingling feeling or sensitive skin could indicate that herpes is on the surface of the skin. After an initial outbreak additional symptoms of herpes are more likely to occur. The herpes virus is often strong within the first year a person catches the virus.

If an outbreak is fully clear and if there are no symptoms of herpes the chance of passing the virus greatly decreases. I'm recommending that an individual uses a lubricated latex condom. Lubricated condoms reduce friction and are less likely to break.

Even if an initial outbreak is clear I would recommend an that newbies or anyone who gets outbreaks discusses the option of taking medication to reduce herpes outbreaks. Medication may not be needed. However, medication such as Valtrex could reduce outbreaks and the chance of passing genital herpes to a partner.

Herpes dating sites http://www.herpesdatingsite.biz

Sex with herpes  http://www.herpesdatingsite.biz/sex-with-herpes/