Here is some helpful information that you will want to read about the moment
when you have to tell a loved one that you have contracted
herpes type 1 or 2.
Although herpes is not usually life-threatening it can be life altering and so you
have a responsibility to inform your partners of the possibility of infection.
How can I tell someone for the first time? When it comes down to the basics
of telling there is no foolproof method. What you say and how you say it are
going to depend on your own personal style. It is only natural to feel apprehensive
about telling someone else about herpes for the first time because there is a lot
of misconceptions in our society.
Carefully choose the time and place for telling someone. Although it may not be
necessary to tell someone right at the beginning of a relationship, do not wait until
after a serious relationship is established as this is not fair to the other person.
Some Practical Tips
Choose a comfortable place
The discussion could take place where you feel safe and comfortable. Some people turn off the TV, take the phone off the hook, and approach the subject over a quiet dinner at home. Others prefer a more public place, like walking in the park, or a quiet restaurant, so that their partner will feel free to go home afterwards to think things through.
Be ready to answer questions about the facts
Be prepared. Plan what is going to be said and have your facts about genital herpes clear. It can be a good idea to have relevant printed information on hand to read.
Be yourself and let the conversation flow naturally
Be spontaneous. Be confident. Regardless of their response, you are doing the right thing for both of you. By telling your partner you are allowing them the choice of whether they wish to take on this risk (although it is very, very small). It also allows the two of you to communicate together to prevent transmission.
Put yourself in your partner's shoes
Consider how you would feel if the roles were reversed and you were being told. You can also role play the situation with a friend who already knows your situation, but do not let them always play the understanding partner. Convincing another person can help convince you.
Do not be negative or make it more than what it is!
Your attitude will influence how this news is received. Psychologists have observed that people tend to behave the way you expect them to behave, and expecting rejection increases the chances of an unhappy outcome.
I don't want to be rejected...
Being honest with your partner is part of the process of becoming more wise and more true to ourselves. Even if this one person rejects you at this point in time, this does not make you any less of a person. In fact, you are more gracious and courageous for doing the right thing in a difficult situation.
Herpes affects over 80% of americans by the time they are in old age. This virus has been massively misconceived and should not be seen as so dirty!
You are just unfortunate to have caught this virus. It is hard not to today and if you have been sexually active and not caught herpes you should be seen as lucky. Do not feel ashamed of your situation, just be open and honest.
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