I am a woman with herpes dating a man who does not. Is he at risk having/performing Oral sex on me? Options?


I see your an adult living with genital HSV-2. HSV-2 is genital herpes 5-10% of the time and oral herpes 5-10% of the time. If a person without oral herpes performs oral sex on a partner with genital HSV-2 the genital HSV-2 virus transfer to the person performing oral sex orally. HSV-2 isn't that common orally. Many people who carry the herpes antibodies don't have an outbreak or experience mild signs or symptoms of the virus. The chance of passing herpes to a partner by oral sex may vary depending on the situation.

Avoiding sex during a herpes outbreak, if a tingling, burning or itching feeling occur greatly lowers the chance of passing herpes to a partner. Taking medicine (if needed) such as Valtrex could reduce the chance of passing herpes to a partner and the chance of getting a herpes outbreak. Dental dam could be used to reduce the chance of passing herpes to a partner by oral sex.

Sex with herpes


For people with herpes, especially people with genital herpes, you might be thinking, "My sex life is over!".

Yes, Herpes is highly contagious during outbreaks. And even during shedding. It can be intimidating to dive into the dating world again with this new diagnosis...

Scared?Just take a deep breath - your herpes sex life is not over. It's just beginning.

Here are some helpful tips about sex with herpes, you may check:

1.  Genital Herpes Sex

Genital Herpes Sex is the most common sex for people with herpes.  There are 4 tips as follows:

  • You must tell your partner.
  • Be honest and open about your condition.
  • Avoid sex before, during, or after outbreaks.
  • Take suppressive medication such as Valtrex or Acyclovir.

2. Oral Sex with herpes

Avoid sex during outbreaks of any sorts. Be careful and observant of what is going on in your and your partner's body. Take suppressive medication.

When you get cold sores, you are getting herpes. It is oral herpes. So don't have oral sex. You do not want to expose the blister to your partner. If you are careful, and don't kiss, you could still have genital sex. This way you could still have safe, fun oral sex even with herpes, but just not during outbreaks, or even "suspicious outbreaks".

Back to Sex with Herpes


If im a male with hsv 1 o and have sex with a female with hsv 2 g, with a condom, and she has no sign of a out break how likely is it for me to get hsv 2? And how long should u wait after sex to get tested for hsv?


Having oral herpes doesn't protect an individual from catching genital herpes. HSV-1 is very common, seem there is no protective barrier when kissing occurs. The human body usually weakens herpes. Therefore, most individual's who carry the herpes antibodies don't have outbreaks or show symptoms of the virus. The chance of catching genital herpes is unknown. The Center for Disease Control (Federal government, and research doesn't provide a fixed chance). In many cases herpes isn't detected, seem the body weakens the virus.

However, it's proven that about 16% of sexually active adults carry HSV-2 antibodies, which is usually associated with genital herpes. If you use a lubricated latex condom, if sex doesn't occur during outbreaks or if symptoms are present, the chance of catching genital herpes could be as low as a per percent per a year.
Myself and the Center for Disease Control don't recommend taking the herpes blood test. The herpes blood test doesn't tell us if the virus is oral or genital herpes. If the herpes antibodies are weak herpes may not be detected. It's possible to get different blood test results each time a person is tested. Once an individual test positive for herpes s/he carries the antibodies for life. The most effective way to be diagnosed with herpes is for a doctor to see outbreaks. The herpes antibodies may appear on a blood test a couple of months after infection.

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Hepatitis C is a virus that could cause inflammation of the liver. In the U.S 3.2 million people have Hepatitis C. The virus typically causes so few symptoms; most of them don't know they have the disease. In some cases it could take years before an individual with Hepatitis C is placed on medication or shows symptoms of the infection. If a person has o STDs the chance of catching or spreading Hepatitis C to a partner is low.


You get the hepatitis C virus from the blood or body fluids of an infected person.

It can be spread by:

• Sharing drugs and needles
• Getting stuck by an infected needle
• Having sex, especially if you have an STD, an HIV infection, several sex partners, or have rough sex.
• Being stuck by infected needles
• Through birth from a mother to a child
• Sharing personal items that may contain blood such an nail clippers, toothbrush or a razor

Hepatitis C is not spread through contaminated food, water or by using eating utensils. The virus can’t spread through kissing or sharing personal items that don’t contain blood or by casual contact.


The majority of individuals with Hepatitis C don’t experience any signs or symptoms of the virus. If liver damage occurs the following symptoms may occur.

Symptoms of hepatitis C include:

• Jaundice (a condition that causes yellow eyes and skin, as well as dark urine)
• Stomach pain
• Loss of appetite
• Nausea
• Lethargic
• Temperature

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Hepatitis B is a serious disease caused by a virus that attacks the liver. The virus, which is called hepatitis B virus (HBV), can cause lifelong infection, cirrhosis (scarring) of the liver, liver cancer, liver failure, and death.


In most cases, hepatitis B causes limited infection. Usually people over age five manage to fight off the infection successfully within a few months, developing an immunity that lasts a lifetime (this means you won't get the infection again).

If you are infected with hepatitis B for more than six months, you are considered a carrier, even if you have no symptoms. This means that you can transmit the disease to others by having unprotected sex, exposing blood or open sores to another person, sharing needles or syringes. Being diagnosed with HIV increases an individual’s chance of catching hepatitis B by over 50 times.


Symptoms of acute infection (when a person is first infected with hepatitis B) include:

• Jaundice (yellowing of the skin or whites of the eyes and/or a brownish or orange tint to the urine)
• Unusually light-colored stool
• Fever
• Unexplained fatigue that persists for weeks or months
• Gastrointestinal symptoms such as loss of appetite, nausea, and vomiting
• Abdominal pain
• Frequently there will be no symptoms, and it is only discovered in a blood test

Often, symptoms occur one to six months after exposure. An estimated 30% of those infected do not show typical signs or symptoms.

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Never give up even you have herpes.

I remember last summer when I found out I had HSV I was crushed. I felt like I would never be able to have a "normal" dating life and that no one would ever want to see me again. A few months went by and I had gone out with some girl friends to a club. Long story short I met this guy whom I talked with most of the night. As months went by we became close as friends. I confided in him and he confided in me. Eventually he admitted having feelings for me. While I was definitely flattered I was freaked out as well because he didn't have "H". So one night we went to dinner and I decided to tell him about having it. I told him that I really did like him BUT I didn't date anyone outside of the "H" circle because I didn't want to risk exposing anyone else. We talked about the statistics and the sobering fact that so many people have it and don't even know they do, etc. etc.

I expected an immediate rejection but was surprised by his comment. He kind've just smiled and said to me, "so 25% of the population has "H" now correct?" I smiled back and said, "yes." Then he kind've chuckled and said, "so you're gonna alienate 3/4 of the dating population because you have this?" After I got home that night I thought long and hard about it. He was right. I have closed myself off in a bubble and not allowed myself to see anyone outside of the circle for fear of rejection. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not actively seeking people who don't have "H" but I'm not going be afraid to talk to people just because they don't have it.

Long story short, don't close your eyes to wonderful people for fear of rejection. If that person is "the one" for you, they will love you and accept you unconditionally.

By tcrgal2011, Texas, United States

Herpes dating, HSV dating, HPV dating, Hiv dating, please feel free to join

Herpes dating tips:

While browsing a few internet forms, I keep coming across men and women that are in a relationship simply because them and their partner share the same STD. Now, while that is a wonderful thing, that, exclusively, is not a reason to maintain a relationship. Exhibit a: "Johnny" and "Ashley" have been dating for 3 months.

Ashley is beginning to get tired of the same conversation. She understands that they both have the same STD, and that it would be easy to sit back and suck it up and try to make things work. However, all she can think about is how little they have in common. She is bored when she is with Johnny. She tried to talk to him about it, but is scared to break up with him, for fear that others will see her as "damaged goods". Whats a girl to do?

Personally, I stayed in a relationship similar to the one outlined above far longer than I should have. We bonded over our shared STD, and about how hard dating had become. Our first date was all about sharing our "infection" story. As was our second. And our third. Until one day it finally dawned on me that this was ALL we talked about. We had nothing else in common. While it was nice to not have to worry about being judged, I was staying in the relationship for all of the wrong reasons.

Some time has passed since then, and it now all seems so absurd to me. Now, I am looking for a person I like and am compatible with who happens to have my same STD (or a person who is not infected that can look past it). Then, I was looking for a person with my same STD and that was about it.

I guess what I am saying is to not let your disease define you or your relationship. It works out better that way in the end.

By Arch84, Georgia, United States

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I met someone on this site and it's still new but so far so good! Actually I'm quite smitten and I think it's mutual. I only answered one post. And it turned out he lived a block away from me but we had never met! How's that for kismet? What a relief to be able to feel desirable again. I've had this cursed HSV2 for 30 years and this is the first time I've been able to feel attracted to someone without anxiety - just fun and warmth. And you know what? The people on this site are often a great 'catch' so to speak. Smart, successful, good-looking and/or kind. Better then the pool of applicants on some of the other dating sites, because they've been out of circulation due to their condition.

Advice to other members:

Take it slow to start, but stay open.

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